Is There Grace in Being Refused Absolution?

CORPUS CHRISTI, TX (Catholic Online) – “Receive the Holy Spirit,” were the words of Jesus to his apostles, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” (John 20:22-23)  The power to forgive sins is one of the most precious gifts Jesus left his Church.  It is dispensed in the Sacrament of Confession, also referred to as the Sacrament of Penance or the Sacrament of Reconciliation. 

The Sacrament of Confession is a great grace.  The grace of God’s forgiveness received through the words and hand of a Catholic priest–who, when he acts as alter Christus and in persona Christi (“as another Christ” and “in the person of Christ’) as he does in Confession is as close to the mercy of Jesus as you will ever get to this side of Heaven–is indescribable.  St. Thomas Aquinas says that the conversion of a soul is worth more than the entire universe.  The Sacrament of Confession participates in that supernatural gift of infinite value, God’s mercy and sanctifying grace.

Priests are taught to be generous in meting out God’s mercy through this great Sacrament of Reconciliation.  They are to err in giving absolution.  The salvation of souls is the supreme law.  But there are times where this great gift must be withheld, where absolution must be deferred or refused outright, and where it would be great error in dispensing it.

Unquestionably, there is great grace in receiving absolution, but is there grace in being refused absolution by a priest in the Sacrament of Confession?  The answer (I speak from experience) is yes.

The Sacrament of Penance is part of the priest’s cura animarum, his care of souls.  The care of souls is a delicate art, an art both human and divine.  In exercising his care for souls, the confessor must travel between rigorism and laxism, between being too harsh and too indulgent.  St. Alphonsus Liguori the patron saint of confessors says in his Dignity and Duties of the Priest, that the priest must avoid these two extremes, and yet even in doing so he must know when to withhold absolution. 

A priest must withhold absolution when the penitent is not properly disposed, such as when the penitent does not express at least attrition or sorrow for his sins, or when he does not evidence desire to amend his life, or when he refuses to abide by the moral teachings or disciplines of the Church.

It must be difficult to withhold absolution, and it calls at times for the virtue of fortitude as well as wisdom and prudence on the part of a priest.  As St. Alphonsus reminds priests: “Great fortitude is necessary in correcting penitents and in refusing absolution to those who have not the requisite dispositions.”

St. Alphonsus Liguori also says that a confessor must know not only when to withhold absolution, but how.  “Though the confessor should be obliged to defer absolution, he ought to dismiss the penitent with sweetness, fixing a day for him to return, and pointing out the remedies that he must practice in the mean time, in order to prepare himself for absolution.  Sinners are saved in this way.”

All this is a preface to my experience many years ago in confessing to a priest at St. Mary’s Cathedral in Austin, Texas.  It was my great fortune that the priest–now dead, requiescat in pace–was Fr. Henry Bourgeois, a member of the Congregation of the Holy Cross.

At that time in my pilgrimage of faith, I–an errant Catholic who was yet unaware that I was being drawn back to Holy Mother Church by the Holy Spirit–was a member of the St. David’s Episcopal Church in Austin.  My brother–who had remained faithful to the Church–suggested one day that I go to confession.  I’m not sure why I agreed, but I agreed.

During my confession, I told Fr. Bourgeois that I had been a Catholic, that I was currently attending the Episcopal Church, but that I wanted to confess my sins.  Fr. Bourgeois explained that he could not absolve me of my sins unless I agreed to return to Sunday Mass.  As a Catholic, I had an obligation to attend Sunday Mass, he explained, and this obligation was not satisfied by the Episcopal liturgy.  I told Fr. Bourgeois that I was not ready to agree to such an imposition.  So he very kindly but resolutely refused me absolution, and he gave me a blessing instead.

At first I was offended, almost insulted by what I took to be the audacity of Fr. Bourgeois to deny me absolution, but that soon passed into a sort of confusion.  I could not criticize Fr. Bourgeois’s behavior, as he had been unquestionably kind and gentle in his manner.  He had dismissed in the most sweet manner as St. Alphonsus advised.  Somehow–and I have not been able exactly to trace how–that refusal of absolution …