Browsing articles in "catholic first communion"
Dave Robbins
– 04 May 2013
My daughter is making her First Communion next week, and I am not short of advice on how to prepare for the event.
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The dress is sorted – a “pre-owned” garment from her older cousin. The shoes are ready. My daughter has bought her own “accessories” with her pocket money.
These include a hideous hair band with protruding Philip Treacy-style feathers. “We’ll have to pretend to lose that,” my wife says. “Or feed it to the dog.”
The actual religious, Communion part is pretty straightforward. It’s what to do afterwards that causes the headaches.
“You’re not going down the white Hummer route, I hope,” says a friend. “Or the glass carriage and meringue dress?”
“Of course not,” I reply. Like my friend, I find the “mini-wedding” approach to First Communions a little unsettling.
Then I meet an acquaintance at the university where I teach part-time. “Don’t stint,” she says. “You’ll regret it if you do.”
She told me about her two daughters. For the first one, she pulled out all the stops. They spent a day shopping for the girl’s outfit, and no expense was spared on the catering for the post-Communion lunch.
But for the second one, Communion fatigue had set in. She got a hand-me-down dress and a less lavish celebration afterwards.
“It’s become a family joke now that she’s the less loved daughter. Even now, if we have a row, she says to me: ‘And you didn’t even buy me a dress for my Communion’.”
Overdoing it might go against your finer feelings, she says, but under-doing it has its dangers, too.
For my own Communion, my parents hosted a lunch at the Castle golf club in Rathfarnham. My mother invited all her siblings, and the table was a fairly typical middle-class gathering of the time, including the obligatory priest and nun.
I was told to stay quiet and be on my best behaviour. There is a photograph of me outside the clubhouse, in my school cap and blazer, arms pressed by my sides, as if on military parade.
There is another shot of the guests at the table. It looks like a departmental meeting, or an ecclesiastical conclave. I am not in this photograph.
Back then, the religious significance of the sacrament came a distant second to the question of how much money you got. My haul of IR£15 was considered respectable, although €500 is pretty standard now.
I also received gifts of rosettes, crucifixes, religious medals and scapulars, and a strange silver coin. “It’s a Pádraig Pearse piece,” my uncle said. “Keep it safe. It’ll be worth a fortune in a few years.”
I lost the coin soon afterwards, and spent the 15 quid even more quickly. “It’s probably worth a fortune now,” I complain to my wife.
All around us, Communion season is in full swing. Some neighbours had their Communion last weekend, some are having it today, and some next week.
On our road, carpets are being shampooed, driveways are being power-hosed and husbands are being chivvied outside to paint the shed or rake the gravel.
Yet there is an ambiguity about these celebrations. We do them, but somehow feel we have to apologise about the excess and the expense.
Although we haven’t finalised our post-Communion plans, we have made one decision. Whatever we do, we’re not going to feel guilty about it.
Of course there is an element of middle-class status display about it all, but what’s wrong with that? It happens in other countries, and it’s regarded simply as a social ritual, the custom of the country. There is no self-laceration about it.
Most societies have a ceremony to mark the crossing over from child to adult. This, for Irish Roman Catholics, just happens to be ours.
It is a chance for us to show off our homes and our families to our friends and relatives. Why do we have to tie ourselves in knots of self-deprecation over it?
I tell my wife about the Pádraig Pearse coin. I explain that I’d like to be able to pass it on to my daughter on her big day. “There’s no way we could afford to buy one now,” I say.
“Eh, no,” she replies. “There’s one for €11 on eBay.”
drobbins@independent.ie
Irish Independent
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Confined to Strong Memorial Hospital as he waits for a heart transplant, Timothy Day of Kenmore, N.Y., wasn’t going to be able to attend his 8-year-old daughter Erin’s first Communion.
So Erin decided the celebration of the Eucharist should come to him.
“I gave her the choice if she wanted to go through with her class or have it here with me, and she said she wanted to do it with me, and that’s pretty special,” said Day, who has been living at the hospital for almost two months.
“The most special part was just being with my dad,” Erin told the Catholic Courier, newspaper of the Rochester diocese, in a telephone interview after the Mass April 26.
Several weeks ago, staff at the family’s parish, St. Paul in Kenmore in the Buffalo diocese, approached the Rochester diocese to see if a priest would be available to celebrate a first Communion Mass in the Interfaith Chapel at the hospital.
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They were told it would be possible if they were willing to have the first Communion on a Friday and if they would be willing to have Retired Bishop Matthew Clark of Rochester celebrate the Mass. Day also received the sacrament of the sick during the Mass.
Both the Day family and Clark said the honor was all theirs.
“I am going to go home a happy man for having experienced your company,” Clark said during the Mass.
Day, a Tonawanda, N.Y., police officer, said the Mass was special not only to have taken place, but to have included the participation of Clark.
“I think somebody upstairs was pulling strings for us,” he said.
In a telephone interview after the Mass, Sherry Brinser-Day, Day’s wife and Erin’s mother, said the Mass so far exceeded their expectations the event almost felt surreal. But the family was honored everyone thought so highly of them to attend, she said.
“We want to make the best memories we can in the midst of all the trials we are going through,” Brinser-Day said. “I am overjoyed at the outpouring of support. I am floored.”
The event also included a large contingent of family, including Erin’s younger siblings, Clare, 6, and Henry, 4; representatives of St. Paul Parish; hospital chaplains and personnel; a flock of local journalists; and a choir of local college students from the University of Rochester, Eastman School of Music and Rochester Institute of Technology who skipped end-of-semester activities to attend.
To all of them, Clark spoke about the importance of drawing the community through the Eucharist.
“I know (Erin) is honored by your presence and draws strength from your company,” Clark said. “We are companions along the journey, trying to draw strength from each other in our faith.”
The bishop noted that all are subject to the frailty of the human condition and that the faithful draw healing and nourishment from the Eucharist.
“None of us owns tomorrow,” he said. “We don’t own our health.”
That point is keenly noted by Day, who is one of 43 people hospitalized or at home waiting for a heart transplant through Strong Memorial Hospital. He was diagnosed in October with an autoimmune disorder, which damaged his internal organs, including his heart.
He said the hospital staff has been very accommodating, which has made his long-term stay easier.
“They are doing this for me this afternoon,” he said about the first Eucharist Mass. “They have gone above and beyond. I consider that a blessing that I have such great caregivers.”
JoAnne Klimovich Harrop 412-320-7889
Fashion Writer
Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
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Maybe it’s the smile. Or the way she twirls around in circles. It might be how she looks at herself in the mirror. And, also the fact she doesn’t want to take it off.
That little girl is saying “yes� to the dress.
It’s the time of year when girls are seen donning crisp white dresses — a symbol of purity and innocence — to receive the sacrament of Holy Communion, a rite of passage for many Catholics.
“You just know when they are saying ‘yes’ to a particular dress,â€� says Kimberly Mentecki, co-owner with her mother, Karen Fassinger, of Babe’s Broadway Bridal in New Kensington.
When customers walk through the door, Mentecki and Fassinger assess the situation to see which family members or friends have come with the little girl, just like bridal consultants do in the TLC reality show “Say Yes to the Dress.�
“We talk to them and show them various options,â€� Mentecki says. “A lot of times, the girls want to pick the dress, and they say, ‘This is what I want.’ â€�
That’s a fine scenario if everyone agrees. But if not, hello, drama!
Mentecki will often close the dressing-room door to give customers privacy for the discussion.
“Most of the time, when they come in, they have an idea of what they want,� says Paula Fisher, co-owner with her mother, Rose Mary Lodovico, of Cosy Creations in Forest Hills. Usually, it is a joint decision, Fisher says. There are times someone might not like a dress and will voice an opinion.
“Then we get a compromise,â€� Fisher says. “Maybe we suggest a dress that doesn’t have as much beading or one with a different sleeve style or a different length. Most of the time, the decision is up to the child. We can spot when they are wearing something they don’t like or feel comfortable in. And, we can also spot when Mom or Grandmother or Aunt doesn’t like something, either.â€�
“We have this three-way mirror, and when they step in front of it, you can tell if it is the dress for them,� Fisher says. “Their faces light up. When the little girls smile, we know that the search has been successful.�
It didn’t take long for Jennifer Munda-Finkbeiner, a Greenfield native who lives in Penn Hills, to see her daughter, Ilana Finkbeiner, 8, had found the right dress at Cosy Creations.
“She had in her mind the dress she wanted, and the minute she walked in, she spotted a dress hanging on the wall and said, ‘That’s the one I want, Mom,’ â€� says Munda-Finkbeiner, who got a little teary-eyed seeing her daughter. “And when I saw her in the dress, I knew it was the one because she looked absolutely beautiful.â€�
Munda-Finkbeiner suggested Ilana try a different style just to be sure, but she still chose the first one — a full-skirt, tea-length dress with a rhinestone flower at the shoulder and beading on the bodice.
Ilana, who will receive her first Communion on May 5 at St. Bartholomew, says trying on dresses was fun. Ilana’s grandparents, Joe and Jerri Munda, bought the dress and told their granddaughter to get what she wanted.
“I just loved this dress. I love the beading and the flower and the fullness of it. It is perfect to wear to receive God for the first time,� Ilana says.
Paige Kendall, who will turn 8 on May 4, celebrated her first Communion on April 27 at Immaculate Conception in Irwin. Her mother, Heather, says the process at Cosy Creations went smoothly. They knew they wanted a dress by designer Christie Helene.
“Paige is pretty easy-going,� says Heather Kendall of Irwin. “We knew the designer we wanted, so it was deciding which one. She tried on several, and we knew the minute she tried on the right one.�
Narrowing the dress choices helps, says Renee Lingle, owner of The Frog N’ Princess in Peters. Some mothers come in ahead to look at the selection.
She and her sales associates can pick up on cues when the dress is wrong. Children will tell you when they don’t like a dress by saying it’s itchy or by taking it off immediately. Helping them find the right dress is part of the challenge, Lingle says. When you are dealing with many generations, it isn’t easy.
“The girls know about the reality show and so do their moms and aunts, and sometimes, even Grandma has seen it,â€� Lingle says. “We definitely ask if they are saying ‘yes’ to the dress. And when they smile, we know they are.â€�
Knowing the show has reached a diverse age group is wonderful, says Monte Durham, fashion director for “Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta,� which airs Fridays.
“To me, there is a lot of emotion with Communion dresses, and it’s most likely the first fancy dress in a girl’s life and one in a long line of dresses she will wear in her life,â€� Durham says.
He can tell when it’s “yesâ€� to the bridal gown by the way a woman walks and her stance. That can also be applied to the Communion dress, he says.
“They smile ear to ear and almost prance like they are giddy, and they are moving back and forth and shuffling their feet,� Durham says. “You want to make sure they love it and that they feel great wearing it, because that will show in the photos.�
Gaye Bugel, owner of Bugel Kids in Ross, says in 29 years she has had to deal with mothers not wanting daughters to try on plus-size dresses, a mom who had her child try on 60 dresses, and a girl who refused to try on anything, because she liked a dress from another store.
“I have had experiences you wouldn’t believe,“ says Bugel, who plans to close the store later this year and sell only online. “There are times the child comes in and doesn’t understand about the sacrament, and it is just about the party. … But then, there are some customers who are fun and pleasant to work with.â€�
Jennifer Mason, manager at MB Bride in Greensburg, says when family members disagree and the girl is caught in the middle, she tries to help them find common ground.
“I haven’t seen many pouty girls,â€� she says. “I think at this age, girls are more prone to listening to their moms and aunts and grandmothers. They are respectful when they come in for a Communion dress and realize the significance of the day.
“When you see the little girl smile, you know,â€� Mason says. “She looks at herself in the mirror and her face lights up, and Mom gets a little teary-eyed. That is rewarding to see, because it is in that moment that they are all saying ‘yes’ to the dress without speaking a word.â€�
JoAnne Klimovich Harrop is a staff writer for Trib Total Media. She can be reached at jharrop@tribweb.com or 412-320-7889.
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The 8-year-old boy killed in the Boston Marathon bombings has been identified as Martin Richard.
The young boy was at the event with his family to watch his father compete. According to reports he was waiting along with his mother and sister to congratulate and hug his dad, who was just finishing the race, according to CNN.
However, as they waited near the finish line they were hit full on by one of the explosions. Martin was tragically killed by the blast, and his mom and sister also suffered serious injuries.
Martin’s 6 year old sister is said to have survived the explosion but reportedly lost a leg due to her injuries. She is currently in hospital recovering from the ordeal and receiving medical treatment.
According to other reports, Martin’s mother was also seriously injured and may have suffered brain injuries. She has undergone surgery to treat her head injuries, and her present condition is uncertain. Both mother and daughter were still hospitalized by early Tuesday afternoon. The boy’s dad is thought to have been uninjured in the blasts, but is devastated and trying to come to terms with the tragic turn of events.
Father, Bill Richard, is reportedly very active in his local community in the Ashmont section of Dorchester. Locals are said to have been devastated at the family’s loss and many have been seen leaving flowers at their family home.
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One mourner had written the word “Peace” at the entrance to the driveway; a reference to a sign made by Martin last May when he helped organized a peace walk. During that event children made signs at home and walked together around the city to make a simple statement urging peace in Boston, and for violence to stop.
In a photo that is being shown of Martin he can also be seen at his first communion smiling and posing for the camera in a white suit. In that picture the young boy is seen holding a colorful communion banner with a dove on it symbolizing the Holy Spirit.
It is now believed that as many as 3 people were killed, and more than 170 were injured in the two explosions that hit on Monday afternoon near the finish line of the marathon. By Tuesday early afternoon no suspects were being named by authorities, however, President Obama had pledged that those responsible for the attacks would be hunted and be brought to justice.
Here is a video news report into the tragic death of Martin Richard:
LOUISVILLE, Ky. (AP)
Bob Baffert won’t be saddling a horse in the Kentucky Derby for the first time since 2008.
Kentucky Derby horses are preparing quietly, but they’ll be ready for the roar come Saturday.
The Hall of Fame trainer said Monday that Govenor Charlie would not run Saturday in the Run for the Roses. His other possibility, Code West, also won’t compete in the Derby at Churchill Downs.
Sunland Derby winner Govenor Charlie was 11th on the points leaderboard that determines the 20-horse field for the 1-1/4-mile race. Code West was ranked 21st.
Baffert hasn’t been on the Derby sidelines since consecutive absences in 2007 and ’08. He has won the race three times but not since 2002.
Govenor Charlie galloped Monday for the first time since April 11, a layoff caused by a foot bruise and soreness in his hind end.
”You cannot have any kind of hiccup,” Baffert said. ”We want to be competitive. And if you’re not competitive, my clients don’t want to be in there. We’re just going to watch and good luck to everybody else.”
DERBY DOINGS
Baffert said Govenor Charlie could be pointed toward the May 18 Preakness and that Code West is a possibility for the Belmont Stakes on June 9.
Three weeks ago, Baffert took Santa Anita Derby runner-up Flashback out of consideration because of a knee injury that will sideline the colt at least two months.
”It wasn’t meant for me to be in the Derby this year,” he said.
Baffert will saddle Midnight Lucky in the Kentucky Oaks on Friday, then fly home to California for his youngest son’s first Communion on Saturday, when the family is planning a Derby watch party.
Gabe Housewright, 8, flashes a shy smile after his First Communion on Sunday at Our Lady of the Mountains Catholic Church. First Communion is a Catholic celebration of the first reception of the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist.
Louisville, Ky. — Bob Baffert won’t be saddling a horse in Saturday’s Kentucky Derby for the first time since 2008.
The Hall of Fame trainer said Monday that Govenor Charlie would not run. His other possibility, Code West, also won’t compete in the Derby at Churchill Downs.
Sunland Derby winner Govenor Charlie was 11th on the points leaderboard that determines the 20-horse field for the 1-1/4-mile race. Code West was ranked 21st.
Baffert hasn’t been on the Derby sidelines since 2007 and 2008. He has won the race three times, but not since 2002.
Govenor Charlie galloped Monday for the first time since April 11, a layoff caused by a foot bruise and soreness in his hind end.
“You cannot have any kind of hiccup,” Baffert said. “We want to be competitive and if you’re not competitive, my clients don’t want to be in there. We’re just going to watch and good luck to everybody else.”
Baffert said Govenor Charlie could be pointed toward the May 18 Preakness, while Code West is a possibility for the Belmont Stakes on June 9.
Three weeks ago, Baffert took Santa Anita Derby runner-up Flashback out of consideration because of a knee injury that will sideline the colt at least two months.
“It wasn’t meant for me to be in the Derby this year,” he said.
Baffert will saddle Midnight Lucky in the Kentucky Oaks on Friday, then fly home to California for his youngest son’s first Communion on Saturday, when the family is planning a Derby watch party.
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My older sister, Megan, and I were born 13 months apart. I wore
her christening gown. Then it was her old coats and pajamas.
Finally, I glommed onto her prom dress. Growing up, I half expected
to re-wear my sister’s wedding gown. Despite these experiences, I
never felt deprived by a childhood of hand-me-downs. If my height
didn’t mandate tall sizes, I’d simply shop at Goodwill.
With three boys, I hoped to continue the tradition of cast-off
clothes. Yet things veered wildly off course when I put my oldest
child’s christening gown on my second son. Daniel was 11 pounds at
birth. Jack was considerably smaller. There was an emergency trip
to the department store, and then another one a few years later
when my youngest child arrived weighing a (comparatively) miniscule
7 pounds.
When Daniel made his First Communion last year, I
special-ordered a suit to ensure it had the length and shoulder
room required. I paid for alterations. Then I wondered if we should
convert. Those Protestant people seemed nice. First Communions were
getting expensive.
A year later, I was on the hunt for another Communion suit. My
middle son is extremely narrow, and I again paid for massive
alterations.
My mind traveled back to when I made my First Communion. For
whatever reason, I wound up being a full year older than my sister
had been when she had hers. The end result? Megan’s stupid dress
didn’t fit.
My mom made me try it on five times to be absolutely sure. I
looked like a deranged Shirley Temple trying to play 5 when I was
actually 10. Defeated, my mom and I headed to Gately’s Department
Store. As I dawdled near the 10-cent candy stick display, my mom
rifled through the racks.
At long last, she ushered me into a changing room. When I
emerged for inspection, my mom bowed her head in prayer, begging
God to delay any further growth spurts until after Mother’s
Day.
The dress did fit, just as I feel confident that Jack’s suit
will fit this month. My mom is a wreck, though. “How can you be so
certain he won’t grow?” she asks.
I tell her I hedged my bets. I used her same little prayer and I
bought Jack a chocolate-frosted doughnut for good measure. My mom
rolls her eyes and tells me she’s bringing her sewing box with her
the morning of the Communion.
Some people just have no faith.
Marianne is mother of three sons and the wife of a southside Irish fireman. She has learned that sometimes you’re just too dumb to know what makes you happy. She blogs regularly at We Band of Mothers (webandofmothers.com) and curses with even greater frequency. Her material is written for the imperfect, the imprudent, and the impatient mothers who know that all this stuff is really very funny if you just give it a minute.
See more of Marianne’s stories here.
Contact Marianne at
walsh200@comcast.net
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